Dear Little Lucy,
I am writing to you because I’ve heard all those fairy tale stories and I just can’t agree. I think some of the stories we teach our children give them false hope. Friends and family tried to cheer me up when I was a child with their optimism, but I was always a fan of that Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. Some people were just meant to be grumpy. So stop trying to slip in the prozac into our day. Just look at the greeting card lady Maxine. She made a good living just being herself. I say – “Give me my cup of coffee and F–in’ leave me be the rest of the day!” Sometimes we need a touch of the black turtle neck and dark sunglasses to remind us that everything doesn’t always turn up peachy. Just try to pluck my feather’s miss fairy princess! I can’t for the day when little miss sunshine shows waits on me in the old folks home and has to empty my bed pan. That’s right – just try to follow the Dr’s orders then. Welcome to the dark side deary! Good thing old thing I’m getting into my senior years. It’s considered normal after retirement.
One Ugly Duckling
Dear Ugly Duckling,
After this many cat lives I would have actually agree with you in some way. We all have our own personalities to deal with on a daily basis. Other the other hand – some of us animals need to turn our internal struggles inward. Yes, medication does not solve everything at this moment or the world would be healed. However, for those of us on it – please don’t throw it away. Remember the last zoo break out? Not a pretty scene my friends. Please follow your doctor’s instructions. Back to the point, during our domestic or wild lives I think we need to return to our instincts. Mr. Ugly Duckling, you had the same point as the other story. I think the point is that you are just fine the way you are. There’s no need to sit through hours of therapy just to figure this out. Sometimes my inner sassy feels the same way. If you come across a wild animal or someone like Mr. Ugly Duckling, leave them the F— alone if that’s what they want. Afterall, my column is for advice giving not meddling. There’s no need to be ashamed of putting on a dark turtle neck and sunglasses now and then as long as no harm is done.