Dear Little Lucy,
I write to you because I have a confession to make. I let the dog take the blame. I was the cat in one of those youtube videos. My owner finally caught me in the act. I was the one who tore the toilet paper to shreds and chewed on the remote. Poor Jake, the mixed chocolate lab had to run around the house with his tail between his legs for weeks. He didn’t know what he did wrong. He was in the doghouse for weeks. Most cats would just laugh but I’m worried about him. He mopes around the house and when our owner comes home he immediately runs to the corner. You know dog habits. I feel guilty. When my owner finally caught me my video went viral and now I’m going on tour at the local film festival. Poor Jake has to stay home because there will be too many cats present. How can I make it up to him?
The Guilty Kitten
Dear Guilty Kitten,
I know he’s a dog but you can start by telling him you’re sorry. Try to do it without sneering like cats can do. Encourage him to come out of the corner. Find something to distract him from his worries and trained behavior. Throw a ball his way instead of sabotaging him. Most of all go back to your toys instead of ruining your owners things, unless you want a one way to ticket to the pound. Sometimes I ask myself if we are any better than those who try to tame us. Unfortunately, those humans put our bad behavior on viral display or perhaps they just sympathize with one another as pet owners. Try to live in harmony with your roommates and don’t let the fame go to your head. If you’re that much smarter than a dog then why don’t you have him trained yet? The entire cat community is waiting. On the other hand, who knows what he would do for you if he was your friend. In an emergency I think a dog is more likely to dial for help than a cat. Think of that next your stuck in a tree.